Sep
24

19 comments

How To Avoid Two Bad Afflictions In Job Search

There are two painful afflictions that can be triggered by a job search transition. And both have deep-seated roots in life. Not everyone catches these, but those who do can struggle mightily until solved. And it does not only affect the job seeker. Those living with and networking with the afflicted parties can suffer. At the same time.

This was all initiated by a simple question this past week. At a restaurant the other morning where I stopped for a quick breakfast before work. As I was finishing my toast, an older couple sat down in the booth next to me. The man was helping his wife into the booth and settling down himself. After ordering coffee for them both, he asked a simple question.

“Do you know what you want, dear?”

Sounds simple yet I could tell from his tone that it was not a simple question. Nor was it an uncommon one for him to ask. And while there was love in his voice there also just enough tightness in his delivery that I think he knew what would come next.

Silence.

I looked up to see him finish the question and pause just slightly. Perhaps hoping that today she would smile and say “Boy, Eggs Benedict would be swell!”

She didn’t. He looked down and prepared to wait. And I imagine this affliction causes stress for them both.

Of course this affliction hits a lot of people. We have three kids and I can’t get a simple drink order out of them some days. Can you relate?

But here’s the bigger point. And the direct application. If you are actively looking for a job and especially if you are currently without one, hear this:

You better know what you want.

So the first affliction is INDECISION. In this case, you may “kind of already know” what you want but you can’t pick one or two on which to focus. You’ve heard me talk before about how important it is to build strong and specific job search objectives. Indecision says to me that either you haven’t put in the work to prepare for networking and interviews or you honestly don’t know. And we’ll get to “don’t know” in a bit.

Indecision shortens networking discussions. And makes you less memorable. So after a networking event when I’ve met 15-20 people, the odds are you won’t be someone that I will be keeping on my Watchlyst™.

Not that I didn’t like you, but you haven’t provided me the tools to help you.

The second affliction is related but has much deeper roots in life. And job search brings it out in people in a very striking way.

Here’s the example. After 20 years of working as a project manager at XYZ company, Mike gets laid off. Like a tornado through your life, a lay-off can be painful. And after working to get through that experience, he is faced with a series of big questions. The first being “What will you do now?”.

And if you’ve worked steadily for 20 years, no one has ever needed to ask you a few other questions:

What do you WANT to do next? What makes you HAPPY?

Some have never thought of this before. Nor do they have anything close to an answer. So we’ll call this second affliction the “career identity crisis”. Who am I? What do I really like to do? What would I do with my life if money was not my first driver.

For many of you the answer will be simple. You like what you do and clearly want to keep doing it. Great!

For others you are either forced into this questioning by a friend or someone at a networking event. Or you have always longed for something else. Something better. Perhaps something that gives value back to the world while you earn a living.

That is one of the blessings of job search. Even if you only have one break in your entire career, it is your opportunity to do a little deep thinking about what you really want to do during the 40-50 hour work week.

I’m not saying you have months to do this. But it should be one of the first things you do as part of building your job search strategy. Along with a networking plan, great materials, and a social media plan, you need to know what you want. And you need to be able to clearly and energetically communicate it to your network.

While you can get out and network (get your feet wet), the longer you are out there without objectives, the more you are diluting your brand. First impressions matter. Of course they do.

So I guess the first part is a self diagnosis. You can also ask friends and family that you trust. What is my affliction? Am I just struggling to pick from a well-defined set of objectives or is there something bigger going on inside? A longing for something different.

If you have INDECISION, I recommend you pick one direction and work it for a few weeks. Pay attention to how it feels when you describe these objectives to people. Does it sound like you? Are you genuinely excited to be sharing them with people? And how are they reacting to you? If they feel good and you are getting traction, stick with it. It doesn’t mean you can’t be open to jobs in adjacent functions or industries, it just means you need to communicate a firm and confident plan.

If you have CAREER IDENTITY CRISIS, it may not be a crisis at all. You may actually have CAREER IDENTITY OPPORTUNITY. This is where you have the longing. And instead of viewing it as a painful struggle, you see it as an opportunity to find out what really makes you jump out of bed with a smile. Both will be frustrating at times but viewing at as an opportunity might just change the way you approach the solution. You have the time to dig in. And if you have the financial resources, you can consider a career coach who really is good at helping people find their passions. If money is especially tight, here is a book I’d recommend to get you thinking down the right path:

How To Find The Work You Love by Laurence Boldt.

Of course you need to set some deadlines for yourself. If you allow this process to linger, it can put you into a never ending cycle of wonderment. But if your job search continues 3-6 months or longer (as many are today), use your time wisely. Pick a direction that feels good while you continue to think through your larger question.

Also know this. You are not alone. In the 3-4 networking events I go to each month, I meet a lot of people facing either one or both of these afflictions. And often they don’t have to tell me. I see it and feel it as they describe their situation.

The key is to get started. And If you need some starter ideas, send me a note. Or comment below so I can respond so that everyone can see our discussion. OK?

Another option is to join the Tim’s Strategy Linkedin Group. A great group of people are out there in cities across the U.S. and the world wanting to help. All you have to do is join and start asking for help. Really. And when you request to join, tell ‘em Tim sent you.

That’s me.

Comments

Mic Johnson September 24, 2009 @ 7:02 am

Great article Tim. Absolutely great. Summed it up perfectly. I am definitely going through the career identity opportunity process and, if I’m honest, I’ve been doing it one way or another my entire career. I’ve had “good jobs” or worked for “good companies”, but I’ve never really been in a role and working for a company that I’m really passionate about or that gets me going. I’m coming up on 3 months of unemployment and have been using this time to think, read, social network, write, etc. I’ll send you a document that I’ve created as part of my process…I’m calling it MICOLOGY. Keep up the great work.
Christine September 25, 2009 @ 7:35 am

It’s all well and good to figure out what you want to do — but then you have to convince someone to let you do it. I have been in one field for 25 years, and have reached a certain level where no one believes that I would really want to change fields and perhaps *not* be the director right off the bat. They all imply that I will “leave as soon as something in my field comes along”. I have been as sincere as I can be in my desire to take advantage of the opportunity to follow my heart (and my skills do transfer, so it’s not a question of not being qualified). I know it’s easier to be convincing if you are employed and making the switch — so do I have to take another job in my field and then leave *them* when something I really want comes along? Seems dishonest to me — but maybe I am naive….
Jim September 25, 2009 @ 8:50 am

To everyone who is reading this,
I have been communicating with Tim for a few months now and he has provided me with insight and advice that is invaluable. After 20+years of doing something I was very passionate about (and very successful at doing it), I find myself in transition (i.e., my position was “eliminated”). Tim has consistently written and/or passed on articles that have identified issues I am going through given I have not been in the situation of seeking new employment for over 20 years.
Once again, Tim has hit the target with this wonderful article. I have been dealing with this very issue for the past few weeks and wondering what I need to do to figure out what I truly want in my next opportunity. Up until now it has been somewhat hazy and undefined in a manner that will leave an impression on people I meet in the networking game. The real issue is we don’t realize we have this problem until someone tells us in a way that we can relate to that makes it crystal clear. Tim just did that for us. It’s like he is living in my head .
If you know someone who is in transition (i.e., unemployed), please turn them on to Spin Strategy. Different people will get different things out of it based on their individual situations but I guarantee everyone will get something positive from it.
Mynor September 25, 2009 @ 4:22 pm

Excellent article Tim… I like very much the detailed clarification regarding the “CAREER IDENTITY OPPORTUNITY.” I got it!!!
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 26, 2009 @ 6:43 am

Hey Mic – Looking forward to your MICOLOGY doc. I like the idea of you writing something like that. The more you learn who you are the better . . .
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 26, 2009 @ 6:47 am

Hi Christine – Figuring out what you want to do for some is a huge achievement. Some struggle forever to figure that out. And you are right that it is hard to shift over to that new passion without difficulty and often without avoiding a step down in pay or responsibility. For some it is worth those issues to get going! Consider contract work, volunteer work, or eduction/seminars in this new field as a way to show your commitment and gain some experience.
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 26, 2009 @ 6:50 am

Thank you Jim – Got your phone message yesterday. Try me next week when you free up. Appreciate your sharing your reaction the article – and I think you are right about some needing a 2 x 4 to the head to understand what they are missing!
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 26, 2009 @ 6:51 am

Hi Mynor and thanks for this feedback! Hope it helps to push you in the right direction.
Adam Reiter September 26, 2009 @ 10:42 am

Tim,
A colleague turned me onto your blog and site. The aspect of psychology/mindset during a job search is a topic that does not get enough coverage. This is great work you are doing. When job seekers are deep deep in a job search the biggest obstacle they face is often reflected in their mirror. Keep up the super content and I am sure we will meet sometime soon.
Adam Reiter
CareerKungfu.com
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 26, 2009 @ 1:00 pm

Hey Adam – Thanks for your note. It is not always the topic that generates the most views, but it is critical for many. It is really something I am passionate about! Look forward to the chance to say hello . . .
Robert W September 28, 2009 @ 12:42 am

I read this via Linkedin. I must admit I am from the UK where like most places jobs are very limited in my sector. I have been freelance project managment for 6 years now and got to the stage where by I want to try a career change into something outside IT after 30 years. Trouble is I do not know where to start! got an oppertunity to go in with a friend to start another busines but not sure what to do
Robert
Karina September 28, 2009 @ 11:04 am

Before attending a networking event, make sure you can answer these two questions for yourself:
1. Who are you anyway? and…
2. Who do you want to be when you grow up?
Having a clear answer to question 1 helps you present a picture about what makes you unique, about what it is that you do that is different than the 99 other candidates in your field. It also will help you clearly communicate what you are passionate about, and will likely make your conversations more memorable. This gives your new contact a tangible take-away message about you.
Question 2 is most certainly not an age thing and is not really about growing up. It is about your next step and what makes your next step the right step. It communicates your personal and professional goals, where you see yourself in the short, mid and long-term. It tells others why you are the perfect candidate for a particular company or position or industry. Answer this and you can move yourself from a “career identity crisis” towards a “career defining opportunity”.
These questions once answered provide you with a platform to deliver your message. And your message will be clear, consistent and authentic. Hearing such a clear, consistent and authentic message gives your new contact the ability to confidently state what makes you who you really are and be able to present you as you would present yourself.
Randi Koenig September 29, 2009 @ 6:39 pm

Christine,
I experienced the same trepidation when I interviewed for a few jobs in the past month. One I didn’t get because they decided on someone else (I didn’t want the job anyway but a recruiter sent me), and the other was an opportunity I found through LinkedIn and the job didn’t turn out to be what I expected, even though after interviewing I know I could have had the job. I told the hiring manager that I didn’t feel the job was a good fit and if I had accepted it I would have kept looking for something else. I was doing us both a favor, by being honest.
The morale of the story is that you are doing yourself a big favor by being honest about your needs and expectations, and anything less than that will only hurt you and the employer in the long run. You are in charge of your career, no one else can do it for you. So no, I don’t think you’re being naive or dishonest. Just getting real, and Kudos to you!
Sincerely,
Randi
http://linkedin/in/rekservicepro
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 29, 2009 @ 9:46 pm

Hi Robert – Yes, it can be a tricky time to switch. Best to find a way to transition over slowly if at all possible. If you are finding it difficult to get interviews for jobs in your new field, look for opportunities via education, contract work or perhaps an internship (yes, even well into your career you can gain key exposure and experience). You can also do some volunteer work. This way you’ll have something to say and something to share on your cv/resume. Good luck!
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 29, 2009 @ 9:47 pm

Hi Karina – Thanks for adding your thoughts to the post! I especially like your points about being clear, consistent and authentic!
Ilan Justh September 30, 2009 @ 12:11 pm

I read somewhere (and I wish I could recall the source …) that there are two sets of salaries. There is the one everyone knows about and that is the dollar figure you take home. The other one is the hidden salary and that is job satisfaction. Are you happy with your job … do you come home with a smile on your face, or is it tension, irratability and anger. The bottom line you need to convey is that you STRONGLY believe that there is no value in taking a bigger paycheck or a fancier title if you HATE YOUR JOB! Yes we all know if people who do this but to me I would rather get a samller check and come home happy and not immediately get into an arguement with the spouse. How do you value high blood pressure and an ulcer? Personally I want to see my kids grow up and have grandkids and if that means watching the budget and a smaller “salary” then that is what I bring home literally and figuratively. The thing is you do have to mean it and say it so that the interviewer will believe you.
Tim Tyrell-Smith September 30, 2009 @ 9:43 pm

Ilan – I think there is “hate my job” and “hate the fact that I don’t know what I really want to do” – the second can be worse because it is always with you! I like that idea of the hidden salary . . .
Emily September 30, 2009 @ 11:38 pm

I’d like to make an observation: in every one of your posts, you start off with a fear factor – some example of how job seekers are lacking or how theirs scarcity in the market place – general negativity. I find most job search advice has this common element – is there some reason you chose to use this approach? Is it just the standard format, akin to the hooks we see on the news? Just something to consider: people’s beliefs create their reality. Wouldn’t you be more of a benefit to your readers if your material was not slinging high-impact hooks to fear and instead providing something more positive and uplifting?
Tim Tyrell-Smith October 1, 2009 @ 5:54 am

Hi Emily – I think this is a more recent trend and, yes, I do it intentionally at times to grab people’s attention. Going to 4-5 networking events a month, I meet a lot of people who are struggling through their search because they do not have a solid strategy, do not have clear objectives, or do not have the confidence to impress during an interview. So I guess there is a hook there, yes. I’ve often called it a figurative “2×4 to the head”. My hope is to grab their attention, shake them loose of what might be holding them back and lift them up by illustrating the benefits of getting their search pulled together. And I do try to be uplifting in the body of my posts. I have been fairly conscious of this trend and recently created a list of post ideas that are positive or neutral to counter-balance the more challenging ones. I will write them. Maybe one today! I really appreciate your observation – you’ve got me thinking. By the way, I have written lots of positive posts! Here are just a few:
Say “YES” To Everything During Job Search
Job Search Psychology: Keeping Your Head Above Water
The First 5 Minutes. How To Kick-Off A Successful Interview

How To Avoid Two Bad Afflictions In Job Search

Other Posts You Might Like:

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