Job Search – What A Spouse Needs To Know

This is an easy one and can be answered in a word…everything.

One of the things that happens during a job search is that you become very self-focused. Makes sense, right? Finding that next job is a source of pride and accomplishment – not finding one doesn’t feel very good. It can consume you.

So you end up inwardly focused on the next task. You can also become inwardly focused when things aren’t going well. In either case, the odds are you know a heck of a lot about your situation, but what about those around you?

In the Minds of Others
If you are married, otherwise attached or have key people around, you have to wonder what’s happening in their minds. If a friend, they might feel empathy toward your plight. If a family member, they may want to help financially. But if they are a spouse who is connected to you “through thick and thin”, you’d better have a plan to keep them in the loop. Not only do they share the fear, stress and insecurities of this period, but remember, they are not the ones steering the ship. In fact, their lack of control may make this whole experience worse for them!

So, what can you do to keep people around you informed and, in the case of a spouse, make them an equal partner in the effort?

1. Build a job search strategy and share it. This not only gets them involved and asks for their input, it also educates them about how they can help network for you.

2. Give them a role. Are they good with resume writing? Can they stuff envelopes? Can they help brainstorm new networks to pursue?

3. Download your day. If you had a promising interview or a good phone call, share it. If you are frustrated or feel like you were unfairly passed over for an opportunity, express it.

4. Agree on a financial plan. If you have severance, how will you spend it? Where should you sacrifice to extend your savings if necessary? This can be thorny and a big driver of stress if not discussed.

5. Make decisions together. If you get an offer, this is a perfect opportunity to walk your spouse through the pros and cons (money, commute, health benefits). Based on her knowing your objectives, you have a great resource to help you evaluate the offer against them.

During my job search last year, I relied on my wife for a lot – including moral support, I learned that our house was a happier one when she knew my daily schedule, my strategic plan and even my hopes and fears.

We were a team – and that made all the difference. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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