Dec
22

7 comments

Networking Events. Go Big Or Go Home?

This time I need your advice.

For someone who had an experience recently at a networking event. After a long day at the office, he was tired. Mentally and physically.

And when he arrived, he discovered the following:

1. He got to the event on time and the event was already in full swing. How does that happen?

2. He was under-dressed. No coat or tie. You can never tell at these events.

3. His name wasn’t on the guest list and the staff had to make him a hand-written tag.

4. Everyone in the room looked jovial, connected, confident.

5. He felt less than those three things. An unusual, perfect storm of signs that maybe tonight wasn’t meant to be . . .

So the advice I would normally give this person is: Find your confidence. Forgive your dress code violation. Get in there. Stop Being A Chicken.

But I have a secret to tell you. This guy was me.

And based on how I was feeling that night, I have to update my traditional advice. My updated advice? For job seekers who normally have it all together? When everything, that night, appears to be running against you?

Go Big or Go Home

While there are nights when you can find that inspiration, that confidence. There are other nights where you can do more damage. Nights when you just weren’t meant to be there.

Because if you go in slightly damaged. With no landing gear, a tear in your wing and little fuel. You might crash. This makes taking off in the future more difficult. Because the memory of that night might stick with you.

And the next time you attend an event. Instead of flying high, you might hear a soft sputtering. As your engine tries to fire without success. Let’s be clear, however.

This is not a “get out of jail free” card for networking. It is permission to know yourself well enough to understand that some nights are unique. Rare. And you are allowed to respond accordingly. To pick your battles.

So what have you done to correct a near crash and burn scenario? What advice can you share with some who have a fear of flying?

Most important? Should I have left that event?

Comments

Mark Yonkskie December 22, 2009 @ 7:34 am

It depends on how well you know the other attendees. If you have already made your great first impression, then go in and your friends and colleagues should understand you’re not on top of your game.
But if you walk into a room of sharp suits and you’re rocking a sweater and t-shirt, you might not be taken seriously and better to head home and rest up for the next one.
Tim Tyrell-Smith December 22, 2009 @ 10:30 am

I think that’s good advice, Mark. Thanks for contributing!
Debra Feldman, JobWhiz, Executive Talent Agent December 22, 2009 @ 6:19 pm

I recommend to my clients that they plan ahead and be prepared before networking, in person or online. This may include researching to find out about the dress code (smile), learning who else has been invited that they may want to meet ( and ask what time they are arriving and what they are wearing ( double wink) and figuring out some topics and ideas that they may mention to those with whom they are going to interact at a particular event. Networking is definitely all about quality relationships not transactions so if someone is feeling punky and can’t get themselves “up” for communicating, then it probably is better to lay low and find an alternative way to keep in touch or establish a new connection. So net, net I agree with Mark. It won’t be the last chance and first impressions are very important because it is not just what you know but who you know and if they are in a position to appreciate your potential contribution. If you can’t promote yourself successfully, then the value of the networking opportunity diminishes.
Lori LaBeau December 23, 2009 @ 9:27 am

At our networking events, we always try to have something else on the name tag as an icebreaker…perhaps you could think of something to help bring you into an ongoing conversation and get over the whole ‘Awkward!’ feeling.
I was thinking of something like ‘Whoops, what a day!’ or ‘No shoes, no shirt, still here’…
Make light of the mis-step and you might just find someone who will gravitate to you since you were honest about being human!
Tim Tyrell-Smith December 23, 2009 @ 10:23 pm

@Debra – Thanks for those very practical suggestions. And I agree that first impressions matter. And as you said, there will be other opportunities.
@Lori – It sounds like your networking group has some very creative ideas. I like the idea of including conversation starters or ice breakers on the name tags. Thanks for sharing those here!
thom singer December 24, 2009 @ 6:04 am

Arriving on time and find the event already rocking? Ha,… I teach people that those who know how to get the MOST from networking show up early. There are lots of reason for this… but it allows you to be in the middle of things as the energy builds… thus you are part of that energy. It is hard, sometimes, to break in once you feel others are in the groove.
As for the underdressed…. you just have to own it with confidence. If you purposely go more causal, that is your fault. I suggest you learn and do more checking before future events! But in today’s world, being underdressed is no longer the kiss of death.
As for your own feelings of being tired and off your game. Fake it till you make it. Go in and turn it on. Many of those people who looked energetic and powerful also felt like crap!
Tim Tyrell-Smith December 28, 2009 @ 12:13 pm

Hey Thom – Thanks for those ideas. “Fake it till you make it!” That’s good . . .

Networking Events. Go Big Or Go Home?

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