Nov
10

9 comments

Networking Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Some see networking as a chore. Others see it as a waste of time. A huge mass of social blather that leads to nothing. Those people get frustrated and get stuck in their job search.

They haven’t yet figured out that networking is now a lifelong opportunity. An opportunity to build out your influence in the world. And to reach more people that might need your help at the same time.

For those who see socializing, I see relationship building. Research. To understand what your network needs from you.

And its not about job search anymore. Although that is how most of us will gain immediate benefit. It is about building a significant team around you that knows enough and cares enough about you to step in when asked to throw you a line.

So I say that networking is in the eye of the beholder.

Open your eyes.

If you truly see networking only as a means to an end. That end being a job. You may get frustrated. Because building a network that cares takes time and a sincere effort on your part.

And since everybody feels a little bit like you do, they will hold back. Not give to you. Until they see some consistency in what they are getting.

Results from networking are not dropped in your lap. They are picked from a tree like a soft peach. Ripened from the sun and the water and the nutrients in the soil. Over time.

Ever eat a peach too soon?

If you are just getting started in job search and have heard that you need to be networking, that’s correct. But building a long term network takes some time. Because your effort pays off over time.

Of course there are exceptions to this. There are those who will give to you from day one. And you should be awfully thankful when you meet these people. And you should immediately begin to find ways to give back.

Everybody has something to give.

So my challenge to you today is to change your view of networking. From short term to long term. It will allow you to think through how you communicate with others and what you ask for this time around.

It will give you a perspective that others thinking “today and tomorrow” won’t likely have. And it will motivate you to stay involved in local job clubs and networking groups well beyond the day when you get the call that says:

“We’d like to make you an offer.” (And the air leaves you).

Because this isn’t just a network you are building. It is a set of friendships. Founded during challenging times. And with the opportunity to be built during better ones.

How do you see it?

Comments

Ray Mascola November 11, 2009 @ 7:16 am

Hi Tim:
I really like your thinking. Networking is a way of life for me, both short and long term. I am a job seeker. In this ultra competitive market, building relationships and leveraging those connections, is the most effective means for me to connect to decision makers at target companies.
For me, networking is always reciprocal. For relationships to work, I always look for a way to give back. Thanks for outlining the keys to networking in your article.
- Ray Mascola
Tim Tyrell-Smith November 12, 2009 @ 7:03 am

Hi Ray – Thanks for adding your thoughts here. Much appreciated! Glad to hear you’ve adopted a more long-term approach!
Jim Horrell November 12, 2009 @ 4:39 pm

Hi, Tim,
Sometimes events and experiences change our perspective on life forever. There have been a few specific examples in my own life I can share.
1. I became a father of a son with special needs. Becoming a father is enough by itself to change a man’s life forever. Learning that your flesh and blood has a serious heart problem which will require several surgeries over time is enough to make a man realize that life is a blessing and every moment is precious.
2. In October, 2008, I was laid off. I had worked for the same company for 15 years. However, the lesson I learned from this experience is time changes perspective. Over the course of the year I learned to look at my life and my interactions with the people around me in a different way. I was presented with new opportunities to expand my comfort zone and increase my abilities. Networking was one of those skills. To some people, maybe I missed the mark with my approach to networking. Rather than asking for referrals, I was more interested in what experience they could share with me that I could learn from and become a more compassionate person. Likewise, what could I share with the person that may make their life better in some way.
By following this philosophy (which you point out in your article), everyone has something to give, meeting with people is a much more enjoyable activity in which to participate. I can think of several instances where what the person has to give is much more valuable than a referral or an employment lead. I feel very fortunate when these situations occur and I do my best to let the person know I am thankful for their kind words or their thoughtful gesture.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas, Tim. I hope other people who read your articles take a step back and think about your positive message. Sometimes we need other people to change our mindsets in a new direction and I hope more people begin to think like you do.
Jim
Ljuba November 12, 2009 @ 6:17 pm

Hey Tim,
Thanks for posting a great article on the value and importance of networking. I meet and talk to so many people who only look to their network when they need things, like a new job but outside of that never interact with it. I believe that your network is an ongoing life long endeavour built on reciprocation, much like any real relationship that we have. While social media has made it easier for us to build our networks outside of the locations that we live in the principles essentially remain the same.
Thanks again for the post.
Ljuba
Tim Tyrell-Smith November 12, 2009 @ 11:13 pm

Hi Ljuba – Well, it sounds like we are going to get along just fine! Thanks for your comment and hope to have you back here soon!
Tim Tyrell-Smith November 12, 2009 @ 11:15 pm

Hey Jim – Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. I am glad to to do what I do and feel blessed to have the opportunity. Yes, everyone has something to give. Absolutely!
heather.pokey@yahoo.com November 19, 2009 @ 8:53 pm

I completely agree with everything you have said. That’s why no matter where you work you always do the best you can because it may pay off in the long run. I was at a job that I absolutely loved for 5 years at a full-time status and almost 10 years at a part-time status in a different dept. but was let go because of corporate budget cuts in Dec. 07 at full-time status and Jan. 20th of this year from the same company-Ignaguration Days of all days and was called during the ignaguration that I chose NOT to watch-how ironic hey? “yes we can” ah no we can’t. In those almost 10 full years I came in contact with a lot of people who I still keep in contact with a good amount. I have had networking meetings, there haven’t been any openings with these employers but they know what I’m capable of and my work ethic from that company I was with for so long. When something comes down the pipeline or someone they know they have let me know and I keep in contact with them always. It’s been hard to find something that actually sticks since I was first let go in Dec. of 07′ but I”m doing what I can to stay afloat with temp full-times and a steady part-time job that I also have been at for a while. I’ve been staying positive and have had a few interviews, whether they have turned into something or possibly will, things are finally starting to open up. So we shall see-and I always say no matter what experience you have whether you get the job after the interview or not, it never hurts! It may lead to something bigger and better!
Hank Blank November 20, 2009 @ 1:30 pm

Networking does work if you are patient and don’t want the quick fix. Most people do.
You also need to avoid being a “Mr Martini” person and asking for order right away. That is the kiss of death.
As far as social media goes, it has a lot of benefits but face time not Facebook builds relationships.
Hank Blank
Tim Tyrell-Smith November 22, 2009 @ 9:15 am

@ Heather – Thanks for sharing your experiences. And I know it has been tough. I look forward to hearing that things “open up” for you!
@Hank – I like your thought about “Mr. Martini” – you have to let it linger, right?

Networking Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

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