[12.04.08]

4 great comments!

When You Are The Sole Breadwinner

According to a recent Census Bureau study, the United States had an estimated 5.5 million “stay-at-home” parents — 5.4 million moms and 98,000 dads. Those numbers seems somewhat low to me, but the relative male and female numbers seems historically on target.

Are you the sole breadwinner in your family? If so, how do you feel about being out of work?

In 2007, during my job search, I felt it. The extra pressure. The looks on my kids faces when they asked me about how it was going. Now, don’t get me wrong, my kids weren’t wearing rags and hugging their bowls of porridge. And I never was really truly worried about my ability to find that next great role. But I had my moments and you will too.

It doesn’t matter if you believe in yourself, you can still have days where your expectations weren’t met and you wonder when the next set of waves are coming in to shore. There will be days when your few fears are realized in micro seconds. Despite your terrific career to date, your glowing reviews, excellent relationships and consistent networking efforts, no one has called you back – and it has been a week. Those kinds of results can hit you hard when you are singularly responsible for guaranteeing the next mortgage payment.

Oh sure, your spouse can offer to get a job. But that doesn’t feel good. So you double your efforts (which often means hitting the same nail with a bigger hammer). And still the response doesn’t come fast enough.

So how do you manage your expectations and those of your family’s when you are the sole breadwinner? Do what I did. Communicate like crazy with your family. Have a weekly family meeting to discuss the job search process and what might happen. Make sure to provide details and allow your spouse to throw a few ideas in the mix.

Realize that while there is clearly more on the line when only one adult is working, the task of job search remains the same. You need to be careful that the extra motivation or pressure to fill the financial gap doesn’t cause poor or overly impulsive decision making. Remember my last post about patience? A solid strategy combined with diligent networking, great materials and solid interview preparation are still the keys to arriving at a great new job in style.

I always wondered during my search what it would have felt like to be out of work but without the extra pressure (knowing that my spouse was still bringing in an income). I met a few people at networking events who were in that situation – they seemed a little more at ease than the rest. I would still have looked hard but I may also been able to spend more time smelling the roses along the way.

Tell me about your experiences. How did you get through it?

Mark

This article is spot-on. I am going through the same thing at the moment. I think you are right, communicating to your family is key (especially your your spouse), but I also think that you need to stay calm and focused (as you point out).
Mark

This article is spot-on. I am going through the same thing at the moment. I think you are right, communicating to your family is key (especially your your spouse), but I also think that you need to stay calm and focused (as you point out).
http://profile.typepad.com/1220292248s14607 tts

Hey Mark. Thanks for your note. It is never easy, for sure. All the best to you!
http://profile.typepad.com/1220292248s14607 tts

Hey Mark. Thanks for your note. It is never easy, for sure. All the best to you!

When You Are The Sole Breadwinner

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