Why Politeness May Be Hurting Your Job Search

Hi Jim – I would use every possible method to get a name. If you can’t find someone in HR, find someone in the department in which you want to work. Many companies have reward programs for finding new employees. Then you can say: “Dear Mike: Would you mind dropping this off to your HR department?” For me, this is better than “Dear prospective employer” . . .

Great stuff, Tim. Any rep trying to get a job in medical sales needs to convey ultimate confidence. You can also learn more about this topic at http://www.gorillamedicalsales.com/blog

Hey Steve – Absolutely agree re: the need for a strong head in a sales interview. Thanks for adding the link (I removed an unnecessary “;” from the url – should work correctly now . . .

I’m glad Frank mentioned “Hello” as a greeting. He didn’t find it appropriate, but I think it’s a good option for a blind posting. Remember – For decades we have been answering the telephone with “Hello” when we don’t know who is calling. Also, I might be showing my age by saying that I would find it a positive thing to be addressed “Mister”, although it’s not necessary. A young child addressing me by my first name would sound strange to me, but I am very comfortable conversing with people of most ages or from very different social or occupational groups without formalities. I agree that Sir and/or Madam are pretty antique-sounding.
Mister Joe

Mister Joe – Thanks for adding your thoughts. This is new ground in some ways as we head into a culture driven, in part, by Gen Y who grew up in a very informal way. It will be interesting! I like it!

Tim,
This is great wisdom. We have all been job seekers at one point or another and I would rather have someone call me by my first name. It catches my attention. Thank you for de-fanging this monster of how to address a hiring manager.
Victoria

I agree you walk a very fine line between being too polite and just being on the same level as the hiring manager. Look just because you are unemployed doesn’t mean you need to be calling everyone Mr. or Mrs. You need to stay confident, be assertive but not demanding. Employers hire people they like.

@Victoria – Well, not everyone has agreed. But thank you. It makes total sense to me!
@Accounting JLB – That is my exact point. Being in transition doesn’t mean you are any less of a smart business person. They hire people they like and RESPECT.

Being a rather young guy I was always under the impression that you were supposed to use the last name with a Mr. or Ms. in front of it. Then include your first and last name at the end.
If they respond to you using your first name then you’re in the clear and can go on responding using their first name from then on.
I have to say I’m still a little uneasy at the potential reception “Dear John” or “Dear Jane” might get. Wouldn’t it be better to use their full name? Especially since you have no idea if they go by Johny or Jannie or by their middle name as many people I know do.

Haha, great point about not using the words “Sir” or “Madam”, although I have to say I was _stunned_ recently at a voice mail I received from a government type checking up on my job search: he identified himself(!) as Mr Blah-blah. The funny part is that I couldn’t work out what his name actually was, no matter how many time I re-played the voice mail.
On a more earnest note, I would think that part of the objective of the process is to identify a cultural match between the parties. In this day and age in North America, it’s unusual to address someone with a Mr/Mrs/etc (Asia, on the other hand, is a different story). Two parties who can’t agree to what constitutes a collegial first meeting probably won’t find a mutually satisfactory relationship.

@Brian – Thanks for your comment and I appreciate your situation. If you have an extreme age difference, it might make sense to adjust this advice (as in the case of some international companies). Your example of when to begin using a first name is fine and is certainly the safe route. If you use the name they use on Linkedin, I don’t think you can go wrong! They provided it as a way they would like to be viewed/addressed in public. If they are really Bill (not William) then I don’t think that’s a big deal. My trick? Read the recommendations people write about them. If all these people who worked with him call him Bill . . . can’t you?
@Andrea – Yes, sometimes voice mail gets really garbled or people speak so fast that you have to replay the message three times! Good point about finding a cultural bridge that allows a less formal or more appropriate greeting.

Tim,

I understand when you said NOT to use Dear Sir or Madam. I get it! But what if I’ve attempted to search for the person’s name on Linkedin.com or elsewhere, but was unable to come up with an individual’s name. How would you suggest someone address their cover letter in this situation? I’m also thinking that I would hate to address a cover letter to a specific individual and it be the wrong person’s name.

Thanks,

Steve Horowitz

As weird as it feels to be addressed as Ms. So-and-So, if I received a cover letter addressed to me by my first name, I would think that it’s pretty uppity, forward, and arrogant – unless the applicant already knows me. I have no problem calling someone younger than I “Mr.” or “Ms.” That’s just reverse ageism.